106 — THE WRONG CAKE

TELEVISION

This is a television exclusive on News Edition Nightly with Sarah Drinkel. Next week, I will have Sitna, Gregory Stokes, an Air Force veteran, who's ready to expose me to calling a top secret military program that's reportedly found fully intact UFOs. But the government is now calling UAPs unidentified aerial phenomena.

DR. STEVENS

Evening, Ramirez.

RAMIREZ

Can I get you soda, doctor?

DR. STEVENS

I'm good with my coffee. It's gonna be a long night.

RAMIREZ

Mm. Looks like we got ourselves another problem. Is he as credible as they say?

DR. STEVENS

A high-level intelligence agent. Been on the force for 19 years. Trusted with the most classified secrets of the U. S. defense establishment. Let's just say his secrets have secrets.

RAMIREZ

Hm. Did you work with him?

DR. STEVENS

Never had the opportunity.

RAMIREZ

Huh. I guess it could be worse. He could have leaked the whereabouts of the NARB compound.

DR. STEVENS

He's a whistleblower. If you ask me, he's just getting started. This could be the end. You'll see when they get him in front of the committee.

RAMIREZ

When is that?

DR. STEVENS

I don't know—no more than a week.

TARYN

Bro, she was so mad. Like, none of us told Eric that she liked him. Why would we do that? Right? And there was no reason to give Ashley an attitude. So unnecessary. Like, calm down, you know? I know, like, seriously, it's not our fault.

DANIEL

I'm not trying to study or anything.

TARYN

She's the one making it weird. Right, and can you believe the level of tone she-

DANIEL

Taryn, there are at least four other rooms in this house.

TARYN

I have to go. My stepbrother is stepbrothering. Pick me up in thirty.

TARYN

Eleven signs your mother's on the verge of a breakdown? Seriously, Daniel?

DANIEL

You can't tell me you didn't notice.

TARYN

I mean, she's been less chaotic.

DANIEL

Okay, tell me this. Where did you find your socks this morning? In your sock drawer, right? When have they ever been in your sock drawer? They've always been in the laundry basket at the top of the stairs.

TARYN

I did hate dumpster diving to find a match.

DANIEL

And when was the last time she told you not to bounce the ball in the house?

TARYN

Yeah, okay. Maybe she's on special medication. Or maybe it's CBD. Raven's mom was a total, you know, until she started using it. Now she's legit cool.

DANIEL

Mom wouldn't do that. She would never let you go out on a school night.

TARYN

But she did. And she's your mom. Just go with the flow, dude. Embrace the new Larson.

JACKSON

She's not wrong about the CBD. One of my teammates gave his dog some because he bit the UPS guy? Not for real, though. Like, you know, only his pants. But now the dog's chillin like Snoop.

RECEPTIONIST

Brown and Sawyer, please hold. Brown and Sawyer, let me check if he's in. Hold, please. Welcome back, Mrs. Peterson.

ALPHA 8

Thank you. David Rogers. Amelia Longhorn. T. J. Elliott.

SUMMER

Larson! Where are you going? So much happened while you were out. I was bursting at the seams trying not to call, but you know, hashtag self care, hashtag me time, hashtag no work on vacation, am I right?

ALPHA 8

What is hashtag, girl?

SUMMER

Okay, so, you'll never believe what Geoffrey did to one of the female candidates.He left her alone in the tiny conference room by the kitchen. You know the one that smells like old cheese? He left her there for 45 minutes, just simmering in that odor. Alone. With the cheese. That's it. After two phone interviews, a presentation, and a group interview, only to turn around and hire some dude that fits into his bro code. So, Rachel and I went to HR to complain. Hopefully, they'll say what a law school liability is and hashtag fire him. Are you okay?

ALPHA 8

I am fine.

SUMMER

Well, I just thought you'd be a little more excited. We hate him, right? You do still hate him.

ALPHA 8

Yes, of course. I hate Geoffrey.

SUMMER

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Not so loud! I'll grab us some lattes. So glad you're back! Hashtag office bestie! Hashtag fire Geoffrey.

MRS. LYNWOOD

Daniel Nichols, you're up next. Whenever you're ready, Mr. Nichols.

DANIEL

Okay, so From my current event, I, uh, I watched a news report on LNN, which is in Las Vegas, on Tuesday night, According to the report, two Metro Police officers witnessed a green streak falling from the sky as they were sitting in their police cruiser.

NATHAN

Oh, here we go. Fake news. Fake news. Fake news.

MRS. LYNWOOD

Settle down. Please continue, Mr. Nichols.

DANIEL

So, uh, shortly after the two officers were called to a residence where a family reported to see a non human creature in their backyard. Which they believe was a 10 feet tall and can only be described as a UAP. In an alien spacecraft. So why is this story relevant? Because every day, we're getting closer to discovering

NATHAN

So, where is it then?

DANIEL

Well, they weren't able to recover anything.

NATHAN

Fake news! Fake news! Fake news!

DANIEL

But they canvassed the area and found several other witnesses who saw the green streak fall from the sky.

MRS. LYNWOOD

Thank you, Mr. Nichols, for sharing your current event. Perhaps next time you can share something with less fiction and more science next week. Jamie Wu, you're up next.

MICHAEL

I normally use my recorder to organize my thoughts. But since they commandeered it, I'm stuck talking to the wall. I've seen four sunrises since being trapped in this room. And it's getting hard to keep track of the time that's passed since Alpha 8 landed on Earth. Thirty days, maybe? So much has changed since then. Alpha 8 changed. I'm not sure why or how it chose the person it chose to emulate. And who knows if they are recording me here. Ramirez, are you recording this? If you found Alpha 8, it's imperative that I speak with her. Hello? What will you do now? What is the plan? To take over Earth? I mean, if you can transform, have others already joined us on Earth? If there are more, are they looking for you? Or have you already found them? Maybe you just landed here by mistake. I've been waiting my whole life for this. And I can remember the very moment I told my third grade teacher that aliens exist. My parents weren't happy with the impromptu parent teacher conference. My obsession was interfering with my classwork. If Mrs. Kibb can see me now, right? Ramirez? Dr. Stevens? Let me talk to Samantha. Let me see Alpha 8. Why is it here? Why did it change?

COWORKER

Hi, Larson. Glad you're back. Geoffrey told me to drop this off.

ALPHA 8

No problem. I will take care of that.

COWORKER TWO

If you're not too busy, I need some help with the spreadsheet.

ALPHA 8

I will add it to the list. I will have it to you in a few hours.

COWORKER TWO

Wow, okay. Thanks.

ALPHA 8

It will only take me a few minutes to read through your document.

COWORKER THREE

It's 40 slides. Take the day.

ALPHA 8

I will not need it.

SUMMER

What are you doing? You trying to make everyone look bad?

ALPHA 8

Work smarter, not harder.

SUMMER

What? Let me guess, you were doing some reading over the break?

ALPHA 8

Yes. Wearing mom jeans is my superpower, Moms are the real superheroes, Green eggs and ham. Killing it at work. Literally.

SUMMER

Did you just say green eggs?

GEOFFREY

Listen up. I was just on a call with one of our top-tier clients. Turns out there was a communication error with our timeline. He needs the site live in 30 days.

SUMMER

That's impossible. We're already two weeks behind schedule.

GEOFFREY

On the contrary. Your fellow colleague Larson has managed to tackle more works since she's been back than this team has been able to ship in a month she's putting in the work. I expect you all to do the same thing too. Every last one of you. You have 30 days, then we need to be live. Make it happen or consider exploring other options. I'm sure you know what that means.

JACKSON

Daniel, tell me you brought lunch from home, cause something is wrong with this, this cafeteria food. You got any chips? I heard Nathan failed his science project. That's like awesome karma for destroying yours, you know?

DANIEL

Still doesn't change the fact that I'm naturally predisposed to having more quarters of homelands than the average teen.

JACKSON

You always have to go geek, bro.

DANIEL

It's the reason for my panic episodes. Nathan might be failing science, but I'm failing life.

JACKSON

That's a bit melodramatic. See, I can speak the lingo too.

DANIEL

Everything was so much easier at my old school.

JACKSON

Oh, relax. It won't be long before someone else is the new kid. You gonna eat that sandwich?

DANIEL

Yeah, but I brought you one too.

JACKSON

Bro, that's what I'm talking about.

COWORKER THREE

Larson, I dropped those two analytic reports on your desk. Can you synthesize it by tomorrow morning?

ALPHA 8

Of course.

COWORKER THREE

You're killing it.

ALPHA 8

No, I did not come to harm anyone.

SUMMER

OMG, Geoffrey wants to see you in his office. If you get promoted, hashtag take me with you.

GEOFFREY

You have family up north, right?

ALPHA 8

I have family here.

GEOFFREY

I have this motorcycle I'm trying to restore, and there's a part I need. And it's stock up north. Are you going to visit soon?

ALPHA 8

Visit north?

GEOFFREY

Your family.

ALPHA 8

My family is here.

GEOFFREY

No. Not understanding. Phone rings…

ALPHA 8

This is Larson.

GEOFFREY

Um, we're in a meeting. Can that wait?

ALPHA 8

Yes it can. Hold, please.

GEOFFREY

I was referring to your phone call.

ALPHA 8

I'm her mother. Okay. Now?

GEOFFREY

We have a no personal calls allowed policy in this office. Breaks only. You know that.

ALPHA 8

I am sorry. I need to help my daughter.

GEOFFREY

What? Now? You are on a high profile project.

ALPHA 8

The motorcycle?

GEOFFREY

No, our client.

ALPHA 8

This is family. I must go now.

GEOFFREY

This project is important.

ALPHA 8

Family is important. Always comes first.

SECRETARY

Taryn Peterson. Please report to the principal's office.

PRINCIPAL RILEY

Taryn Peterson, you and that chair are becoming the best of friends as of late.

TARYN

It's an inanimate object, so that's not even possible.

PRINCIPAL RILEY

Isn't this the third time this month? I mean, there was last week's detention and the conference call with your dad a few weeks ago.

TARYN

And I completely grew from both of those experiences. So, thanks for that. But, this was so not my fault.

PRINCIPAL RILEY

Well, perhaps suspension will help get you on the right track.

TARYN

Riley, come on.

PRINCIPAL RILEY

Oh, Principal Riley.

TARYN

Principal Riley. He started it by chucking that girl's phone across the room. I mean, it wasn't the latest model or anything. But no phone deserves that kind of death.

PRINCIPAL RILEY

And you thought hacking into his Moogle account and deleting all his assignments

TARYN

I saved a backup.

PRINCIPAL RILEY

He threw up in the hall.

TARYN

An unfortunate aftermath. I'll be sure to apologize to the janitor.

PRINCIPAL RILEY

Oh, Mrs. Peterson, thanks for coming. Aren't we expecting Mr. Peterson?

ALPHA 8

He is out of town.

PRINCIPAL RILEY

I'll let Ms. Taryn fill you in on the details on her own time. We were just finishing things up with the suspension.

ALPHA 8

I am sorry. Suspension? Is that really necessary?

TARYN

Jordan is the one that should be suspended. I was just helping out another student. And isn't that one of the school pillars? Fostering community or whatever?

PRINCIPAL RILEY

Three days.

TARYN

Seriously? This is so not fair.

ALPHA 8

Principal Riley, I completely understand and I do not want to undermine you in any way. My daughter…

TARYN

Stepdaughter

ALPHA 8

Taryn was following the Trinity High School value pillars. She was honest and told you what she had done.

PRINCIPAL RILEY

That's great, but that doesn't excuse her.

ALPHA 8

She was committed to her friend and helped her get the justice she deserved. I am sure that takes integrity.

PRINCIPAL RILEY

I know what the pillars say, Mrs. Peterson. I wrote them. Even hung up the poster you're reading behind me. Yeah. And while I appreciate your ability to apply them to this situation, what Taryn did is grounds for suspension.

ALPHA 8

Principal Riley, Taryn was following your rules. Why have such pillars if you are going to punish the students who use them?

TARYN

And I totally promise I will find a more diplomatic way to support my friends going forward.

PRINCIPAL RILEY

Alright, no suspension. But you'll be in the library every afternoon to help with the new book delivery.

TARYN

What? No, I can't

ALPHA 8

Thank you for understanding.

PRINCIPAL RILEY

You're free to go, Taryn Peterson. I don't want to see you in my office for the rest of the year.

TARYN

You won't. Larson, that was…thanks.

LEXI

You have one important reminder. To hear the notice, just say, Lexi, what is the reminder?

ALPHA 8

Lexi, what is the reminder?

LEXI

Larson, don't forget to pick up the birthday cake.

TARYN

Whoops, that would have been low key bad if you forgot that one.

ALPHA 8

Birthday cake, got it.

TARYN

I have a ride home, so you don't need to wait up.

DANIEL

Zombie Apocalypse, who would you want on your crew? Go

JACKSON

Matt.

DANIEL

From school?

JACKSON

No, the dude from Bear and Scared. He was like the only guy that found his own food and created his own BOMA. You know, like the shelter thing they make to keep animals in the environment.

DANIEL

I know what a BOMA is.

JACKSON

And he got the highest PSR score from all 11 seasons.

DANIEL

Yeah, but what does that really get you? A college entrance? Nope. A job at the best company? Not a chance.

JACKSON

Bet it would impress girls, though.

DANIEL

Naked, freezing, and malnourished? That's not impressive. And they don't even get paid. That's a hard pass.

JACKSON

I bet you wouldn't make it past the first night.

DANIEL

I wouldn't set foot off the truck that drives them into the wilderness. Mom's home. We better help her with the groceries.

JACKSON

Alright.

DANIEL

Where's Dad's cake?

ALPHA 8

In the car. I will retrieve it now.

DANIEL

Retrieve? Okay.

JACKSON

Broccoli, carrots, brussels sprouts. No chips, ice cream, or cereal. And I finished the box this morning.

DANIEL

I guess cooking is her new thing.

JACKSON

I don't hate it.

DANIEL

At least there's a cake. Wait, what's this?

ALPHA 8

Birthday cake for Michael.

JACKSON

Oh, that's not good.

ALPHA 8

What?

DANIEL

It's not Michael's birthday. It's Dad's. Why would you put his name on my dad's cake?

ALPHA 8

It is the birthday of your dad.

DANIEL

Exactly. Michael's birthday is in March. Today is October 7th. It's Sam's birthday.

ALPHA 8

Sam?

DANIEL

Every year, we buy him a cake to celebrate. You said nothing was gonna change, and this is a huge freakin change. How could you forget?

ALPHA 8

I can get a new cake.

DANIEL

You say that like you don't know who I'm talking about.

ALPHA 8

I will get a new cake. I will get a new cake.

DANIEL

No! You already ruined everything.

ALPHA 8

Do you want a hug?

DANIEL

No, I don't. I'll never forget this. Like, ever.